Sexy

Do you ever wish upon stars?
Well, I do.

And I wish
I was sexy.

The day I become sexy,
I will mount and ride
every chair in this room.
And instead of you saying,
“What was your name again,”
you’ll moan, “MMMMM! OOOOHHH!”
And I’ll say, “Mm-hm. That’s me.”

Or when we see each other in the streets,
we won’t say, “Hey, what’s up?”
We’ll just take off our underwear
and trade.

I will be as sexy as
the song you make love to.
No, not the one you lost your virginity to.
Not that one,
the one you masturbate to.

Sexy is the cure to
the high school mathelete’s nerdom.
Sexy is the cure to
lonely nights,
the cure to awkward adolescence.

I assure you,
when I become sexy,
even the girls who love to hate --
they'll want me.

Instead of calling me a slut behind my back
for pleasing their boyfriends
in the dingy diner bathroom,
they’ll say, “Gee. I wish she did me.”

When I become sexy,
you’ll re-think the word, “love-handles.”
And OH, I know love handles.
 I see myself daily in the shower,
grab them and think,
“When I become sexy,
these will be fuck-me-harder-handle bars.”

When I become sexy
you will mistake love for lust
and lust for me
and instead of “I love you,"
you'll say, “I wanna fuck you.”

When I become sexy and we touch,
the scent of pure, raw sex
will rub off unto you and to whomever you touch.
So we’ll all have massive orgies:

a room full of women with succulent tits,
piercing nipples touching themselves
to a room full of men touching themselves
to porn.

And we’ll all cum at the same time,
the echoes of simultaneous orgasm
will deafen our unborn children’s ears
and the quiet afterwards will feel like
silence after the snow
while all the women,
we'll cuddle with each other and
all the men, they'll fall asleep.

Sexy will be the one night stand
which is really love at first sight.

In the morning
when we wake in the others’ arms
with that startled look in our faces,
it wouldn’t mean, “Oh my God. How much did I have to drink last night??”
It would mean, “God damn, Ima go brush my teeth and fuck you again. I’ll fuck you for life.”

When I become sexy,
words like raunchy and smutty
will be synonyms to sweet and romantic.
And when you touch my skin,
you’ll harden like the rock
that was once your heart
and love will be second nature,
unquestioning, no jealousies,
no insecurities.
 Cuz once you are inside me,
you’ll wanna stay for good
and cum for life
and this will be
the only place you’ll want to be inside.

(For DJT)